Current mood:

sore

Fried Egg Over Chips
Back when my dad had to do a lot of heavy lifting for work he often remarked that back pain was the worst kind of pain. I have memories of finding him in the living room on the floor with his feet up on the couch. I think he was in the hospital once when I was little because of it, but I'm not sure.

Personally, I've always thought that migraine was the worst kind of pain. At least when your back hurts you can still read a book or carry on a conversation and be otherwise happy. With a migraine motion brings on dizziness and the pukes, and the sound of your own voice is ten times worse than the pain of somebody else, which is already quite painful mind you.

Right now, I'm starting to see how dad felt. I've only been at the Autumn for four days, with yesterday off, and as the afternoon has gone by my back has gotten more and more painy. Yesterday I woke up with my left knee on fire after an all-day shift, but it passed by the time Randall and I got to Saratoga for his cousin's yangqin performance (well really it was the California Chinese Youth Orchestra, but we were there for Mei), so the only discomfort was from putting my foot on the clutch. Now my right knee feels wonky and the right side of my lumbar is getting tighter and tighter with each passing minute.

I'm definitely going to tell dad and Melba, and my doctor when I see him Wednesday for a mandatory physical. I'm sure part of my pain is because I've never really had to pick people up before, grandma staying in bed all the time and all. I can't not lift people because it's such an integral part of the job, but I don't feel that I can stick with this line of work if it's going to destroy my back before I'm even 24. Part of me is doing a little happy hula, sadly enough. The job is rewarding and I'm earning more than I did at the library, but I can't get over feeling like I'm patronizing the residents, and I feel strangely left out because I'm the only non-Philipino caregiver, and the only word of Tagalog I know is "kamusta". Also the diaper smell is giving me flashbacks.